Fasten your seatbelt and put your tray-table in the upright position. Nothing will go as expected today — unless your plan is to expect the unexpected. In which case, good for you! Leave your expectations at the door. You’ll probably love it. And your friends will never expect it. Besides, the end result of this unexpected event will be an unexpected blessing.


After all the shopping you’ve done recently, you thought you were through with the mall. In fact, you were praying you were done for the sake of your credit rating. But an occasion has come up for you to buy presents for your loved ones. You want to let them know how special they are. Guess what? Time to get back on the horse. Remember that old saying —  you have to spend money to make money? Well, it applies to this situation — in a way that’s difficult to explain.

Okay, you’re done. It’s finally time to let go of all those intense feelings you’ve been dealing with. If you have some free time, you can actually spend it having some fun. Bet you’re feeling better already, just thinking about how wonderful it will be to let go and stop worrying. Of course, if you really want to feel better, you’ll plan some quality time alone with a loved one. Really alone. Like, at your place alone. You know what I mean. Sex.

You’ve just about had it with a certain person. You know the one. He seems to live for nothing more than to aggravate you–in any way possible. The bad news — for him — is that you’ll catch a second wind later and use it to defend yourself. The good news — for you — is that you’re highly attuned to the zodiac. You’re more than prepared to unleash the full power of your astrology.


You’ve had a hectic week. Work stress has you feeling overwhelmed. Take a load off. It’s time to indulge yourself. Switch on the computer. Bathe in the cool blue light. Visit internet sensations. You may catch yourself feeling emotional or sensitive. Remember that this too shall pass. Hold unfocused vision. Make a mental note of drifting pixels.